Brett Dills

Detroit: The New American Frontier October 27, 2009

I came across this article in another blog.  Very interesting.  Detroit has huge swaths of wide open land from all of the house that have been torn down.  The pictures are amazing.  The premise of the article is that the city is becoming one huge urban laboratory because there is so little enforcement of city ordinances, and so much wide open space, that people can come in to town and do pretty much whatever they want.  Houses are selling for $50 to $100.  There is also an effort to use some of this empty land for agricultural purposes to help feed the poor in the city.  (And there are a lot of them.)

Distractions Aplenty October 27, 2009

One thing I have discovered during this time is that it is very easy to get distracted.  (I know I should be working on my job search, but there is a Good Times marathon on TV Land.)  This is something I continue to struggle with.  It is so tempting to play with the dog, turn on the 360, or watch bad TV.  I really miss the structure of a work day.  I have tried to set a schedule for myself, but I always seem to get off track.  I find it has been very helpful to leave the house.  A lot of times I go to Panera and use the free Wi-Fi.  I recently discovered the joys of the Central Library in downtown Indianapolis.  (Where else can you watch a dude roll his own cigarettes at a table or catch a guy looking at naked pictures of women, out in the open, on the internet?)

I vow to hunker down this week and get something done.  Now, I gotta go.  There’s a Sanford & Son re-run I want to watch.

My Unemployed Life October 5, 2009

There are three things about being unemployed that I did not expect.

One, is that being out of work is mind crushingly boring.  While it may be bad enough to be stuck behind a computer for eight hours a day in an office, doing the same thing at home is even worse. And when I have some free time, I don’t want to spend a lot of money, so I tend to stay home a lot.

Second, is the feeling of isolation.  I really don’t have many people to talk to like I did when I was working.  My situation is a little different in that my wife works nights and sleeps through the day.  So, I have to be very quiet so that she can get some sleep.  I also have to keep quiet so I don’t wake up our dog, who in turn will wake up my wife.  I am by myself most of the time.  I have to force myself to get out of the house sometimes, even if it is just to go grab something to eat or to walk around Costco for a while.  I also go over to my local WorkOne office to use their cubicles to work.  I also joined a job seekers club in Zionsville, which has been a tremendous help to me.

And third, is that it is very easy to get side tracked when looking for a job.  I sometimes find myself surfing the internet, playing with the dog, or doing housework when I really should be job searching.  This is one of the tougher obstacles in my life right now.  This is another reason why I try to get out of the house to work.  I try to force myself into a daily routine, but I’m not always successful.

But, hey, everyday is casual Friday.  I guess there is a bright side to everything.

Why 2009 Cannot Be Over Soon Enough October 4, 2009

I should have known it was going to be a bad year when I woke up on New Year’s day sick to my stomach. I spent the entire day either in the bathroom or lying in bed. It was clearly a harbinger of things to come.

I have to say, without a doubt, that 2009 has been the worst year of my life. The scary thing is that there are three more months to go. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Highlights of my year, so far:

February: My wife loses her job. Luckily, she finds something a few weeks later. Later that month, I managed to, on consecutive weekends, severely sprain both my left knee and my right ankle. On one very special day I had the following happen: Walk into work to find out my salary was cut 10 percent, had x-rays on my ankle, and I received a bill from the IRS for $1800. My ankle didn’t feel right until May and was able to settle with the IRS for a lot less than $1800. It was not a fun time and it was downhill from there.

June: My Dad was diagnosed with inoperable esophageal cancer that has spread to his liver. He began chemotherapy a few weeks later. Fortunately, he is responding well to treatment, but the cancer is considered incurable.

July: I lost my job. I will write about this more in later posts. Needless to say, depression has followed and my financial future is on shaky ground.

A friend of mine suggested I keep a record of this time, as both therapy for myself, and to share my experiences with others. I am not doing this to have people feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for myself. It is my hope that this blog will be cathartic for me. I am not sure what this blog will morph into. I have a feeling some days I will write a lot and some days I won’t or even at all.

Career-wise, I think I will be better off in the long run. I had advanced about as far as I could at my company, the environment there had become fairly unpleasant, and the prospect of doing something else is both exciting and scary at the same time. I am just not sure what “something else” will be. I have met with a lot of friends and colleagues to help me figure out what I want to do going forward. I have also done a lot of soul-searching and self-analysis during this time. I have a few ideas I am pursuing, but I think this whole process is going to take time.

The only benefit of losing my job is that I am able to spend a lot more time with my Dad. A friend of mine said that this maybe the reason I was meant to lose my job. I am not particularly a religious person, and I usually don’t believe there is divine influence over things that happen in life. But, I think he made a good point and at some point I will look back and be glad I had this time with my Dad.

My friends and family have been great through all of this. I don’t think I could get through this without their support and I will be forever grateful. I have heard that you learn who your real friends are when times get tough. This could not be more true.

So, there it is. 2009 is my Annus Horribilis. And 2010 cannot get here soon enough.